While
I’m quite thankful to the Lord that the storm has passed without much damage, I
must now confront the reality that I have to wake up early tomorrow for work,
and so I might have to face the same worries of the day that has left me
longing to lock myself up here in the apartment and just stare at my laptop
screen for hours.
There
are really things in life that can leave you very scared. In my case, well, I
haven’t totally recognized them. That’s why I’m going through psychological
counselling, but I think it would be really nice if I’ll get to overcome this
stage of my life and maybe, go back to looking forward to what lies ahead just
like when I was in high school.
I
love my comfortable little world in my room and I really value the moments when
I just stay here, cozy, with nothing to worry about. I just stay in bed without
any pressure and get up anytime or do what I want but it turns out that life is
not like that, but I shouldn’t be looking at it as if every day I have to die
and be alive again only to die the next day.
I
want to believe what my high school classmate, Carla Dacuba, wrote as her
quotable quote in our yearbook: “Life is not a perennial funeral procession.
There’s a reason for living.” Back then, I thought I found my reason. Now I
seemed to have lost it or it seemed to have flown away on a piece of paper. I
don’t know where to retrieve it. What I know is that I should now close this
laptop and accept that I have to sleep early because I also have to go to school
early tomorrow. Hopefully, when I wake up I won’t have any hangover on any
anime I have watched and I will not anymore imagine myself on a tightrope doing
a death-defying stunt for everyone to see.
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