December 04, 2014
It’s
21 days before Christmas but that’s not the only reason for a countdown---in
two days’ time, more accurately, on Saturday, one of the strongest typhoons for
this year will hit Central Visayas and Southern Luzon. You won’t be surprised
if I mention that Bikol region is one sure target, but you’ll be worried, I
suppose and you have all the reason for it.
Ruby,
with the international name “Hagupit” (quite apt, I should say, and if it
weren’t given abroad, I would suspect that Filipinos chose it appropriately to
describe how menacing it could and would be) is threatening the Philippines with
a strength rivalling that of super typhoon Yolanda. Everyone is in “panic mode”
right now. Well, I’ll be joining in tomorrow, but for the mean time, I want to
relax, watch some anime shows and think about how this is clearly not going
with my plans for the holidays. Come to think of it, Ruby is really messing
with everyone’s plans.
From
my experience with Reming in 2006, I could imagine a literally dark Christmas
with tree trunks and leaves everywhere, dirty streets filled with garbage,
detached roofs and… bodies of dead people--- hopefully, not. The last one is
really what makes the whole scenario frightening. Yes, I’m afraid of the
impending super typhoon. I’m afraid of the damages it will cause, the suffering
it will bring.
I
will be far away from my family when it comes. I will be worrying about them
but I feel justified in staying with my housemate. I can’t leave her alone
given that I also don’t want to be lonesome at a catastrophe like this. They
say that there’s a slight possibility that the typhoon won’t touch any of the
Philippine shores. Hearing this, I remember that miraculous event when a threatening
typhoon was also making its way to Bikol after the ravaging Reming took away
almost everything. We, in Albay, were all fearful as we clasped our hands with
a rosary tangled around our fingers and
all of a sudden, that giant monster stood still as if being held by something,
or Someone according to a catechist-friend. Then, to our surprise, it made its
way to a different direction, completely forgetting to wreak havoc in Bikol.
I
myself attest to that wonderful mystery. I was one of those who prayed hard for
it to go away and now, how I wish it will be the same with this one despite the
disheartening probability.
“It
will definitely hit us.” That’s what I hear from the news and that’s what I
hear from myself. Where has that hopeful girl ardently clutching her rosary
gone to? Where has her faith fled?
With
all the many storms that have hit me hard since Reming, I have seen myself
slowly separating my hands and putting down the beads I have so often held.
Now, as I think about holding them once more, I’m filled with shame and regret,
shame because only at times like this do I think about my rosary and regret
because even if I clasp my hands once more and hold the rosary tightly, I have
the feeling that I won’t be that same girl, fearful but firm in her belief that
the storm will suddenly change its track.
In
vain have I waited for miracles under the heaving skies. I’m too drenched right
now to think that it is still possible for another monster to forget its rage
and walk away. I have already run out of hope with all the monsters that have
trampled on every sign of hope that I banked on.
Even
so, I still try to clasp my rosary and assume the position of that fearful yet
slightly faithful girl. I still want to try hoping. I know that those invisible
and invincible hands which stopped so many tears from falling when it blocked
that strong typhoon is still there, waiting to do wonders either by repeating what
they have done before or shielding the hearts of those they hold dear from ever
feeling that they are alone amidst the fury of this next big threat.
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